Well, I start my new job tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous. I shouldn't be nervous seeing as I've been doing customer service jobs for the past six or seven years, but I'm nervous none the less. I'm sure every one wishes this, but I really wish I could travel and not work or go to school. I like school well enough, I learn interesting things and expand my thinking, but I really want to see the world and experience other cultures and not worry about money. Money is my biggest stressor by far.
I saw today that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married with an extravagant wedding in Florence, Italy and all I could think was that if they donated half the money they spent on their wedding to people with student debt then a lot of people would be out of debt and have a chance to start their lives without all the stress of not having enough money to pay their loans, rent, insurance and keep themselves fed. If only there was some way to make the über rich feel the need to donate their money to good causes rather than spend it all on multiple houses, too expensive cars and clothes and whatever else the wealthy feel the need to have in their lives. Of course there will always be more charities than money and more less fortunate people than wealthy people, but don't we all wish we were in that minority of wealthy people? I know I wish that.
I wish I had the ability to pay off not only my student loans, but also the debt of my boyfriend, mom, sisters and brother. I wish I could buy a house since in the long run it's cheaper than paying rent every month. I wish I could buy new clothes since everything in my closet is too small and has holes in them. I wish I could start a college fund for my nephew and my future kids and not have to worry about them getting into debt. I wish I could donate money to various cancer foundations, as well as programs to help the homeless, the elderly, and people with extremely rare diseases.
I wish a lot of things, but lets face it, I'm probably not going to get the chance to do any of these things in the near future. I'm going to work my butt into the ground doing any job I can until I receive my degree, and then I'm going to work some more until I have the money to move, and then work the rest of my life to try and make a good life for my family until I can retire. When I retire I won't have much savings and my children will probably be affected by the constant tough economy and I will end up in a nursing home and die without having done anything I had dreamed of my entire life. What a sad life.
This post has been rather depressing and envious of the wealthy, so let's think of things that I can look forward to in life. I can look forward to marrying my boyfriend in a couple years, and the births of our future children. I can look forward to having a couple dogs and cats to play with in the park and curl up with on the couch. I can look forward to raising my children and making sure that they're happy, but not spoiled brats. I can look forward to one to two week long vacations to where ever we can afford. I can look forward to growing old with my love and being proud of all that my children will accomplish. I can look forward to being alive, and living my life in a fairly comfortable manner, with lots of smiles, hugs and kisses. That life doesn't sound so bad.
I'm sorry I've been a bit of a pessimist today, I just find this blog is a good outlet for my stress and negative feelings I'm having. Hopefully I'll have something happier to post soon.
Until next time,
Lauren
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